So I’ve been away for a while for a couple of reasons. Mainly because this MisFunktional Mami has been trying to wrap her head around having another baby. That makes three under the age of four, and boy I tell you wrapping my head around that idea, already being overwhelmed as I am, sent me right back into a depressive state to the point where it just stopped me from speaking about coming into positivity. But now, after some inspiration from a few internet media moguls, I am ready to share my truth. My journey along the way. What has brought me to this point.
After six months I finally admitted not just to my family, but to myself, that yes, I am pregnant. And to be honest I really wanted to terminate the pregnancy initially. I know there are views on this and that statement could insite a riot, at least within, but when you’re feeling on the brink of broken, some options seems like the only way out. But now here I am, six months in, finally accepting…the baby.
My turmoil with my pregnancy had more to do with felling like I was just getting my life back on track than anything. I was finally ready to go back to work, and let my toddlers go to school. Finally healing from the changes that motherhood had brought to my idea of what my life would be as an adult, and accepting that. I’d just read in Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life book that sometimes things happen to you more than once because of some deep rooted beliefs and ideals that you have. I’d been on birth control pills, which are hard to keep up with when keeping up with toddlers, and had considered the vaginal inserts, though I was unable to have them because of my C-sections, but was very against the patch, something that would be easier for me, because of exactly what she said, some deeply rooted belief about it. I’d finally decided though, that this would be the best option for me as I knew I just was not ready to have any more children.
As I waited for my next cycle, I was excited about this realization and about the new journey awaiting me on the other side of this decision. The new job, the “break” from being a mom all day long. So, this was the source of my discontentment when I learned that I was pregnant. Once I accepted it, however, albeit six months in, its like this journey actually started all over again. I began to once again feel like I could make forward progress towards at least some dreams in my life and, perhaps be my own inspiration that, even though the idea of something may seem difficult, it may end up being a testament to faith and endurance. The strength I didn’t know I possessed as a mother, a woman. I mean, even though I was ready to go back to work, my dreams of being an internet entrepreneur and real estate mogul weren’t going anywhere. And that is when, out of the blue, I was convinced to read a book…The Science of Getting Rich.
While the book focuses a lot on the mindset you need to become wealthy, it also helped me realize how I’d lost my own faith, my own trust in not just a universal power, but in MY word and the power within myself. For the past few years I’d been in such despair because of the transitions in my life, that I’d been depending on the word of others to get me out of situations, or help me along, make my road easier, instead of creating a new journey, a new road to my dreams and desires. So here I am, back, promising to be consistent because I am excited. Wanting to share my new positive outlook on something that at first seemed like such a set back. So, I’d like to share the audio of the book The Science of Getting Rich with you. I listened to this just as it instructed, as often as possible, as much as possible and it inspired me in a way I’m not sure I have words for. I hope it does the same for you.
Until my next post…sooner rather than later.