I Wanted To Make Another Video But…

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I am a writer. It’s what I am it’s who I am. A poet, a documenter, a journalist. It’s what I do. It’s the reason I started blogging. And I allow myself to get so caught up in the other aspects of this entity called the internet sometimes that I forget that I found blogging, and was drawn to it, because I write. Prose, stories, chronicles. So, while the last video proved I am a real person, I’m not sure I will be showing my face in another. Not anytime soon. I will share pictures, if I can get them to go right. But anytime I seem to not do something genuine to who I am, it turns me off from what I was doing in the first place. 

Someone suggested that I make the last video to draw readers to my blog, but, it just didn’t feel like me. I don’t know if I care if anyone reads this blog. Not because I don’t want readers, but if it’s not genuine, and genuinely me, then it doesn’t matter. I garden for enjoyment and want to share that love. I may enjoy it a little too much since now I am trying to schedule my whole life around whether or not I’ll be able to do it, making sure I have time to do it with kids, me now being a single mother and all. But, my number one love is writing. 

I know this is a little strange on a garden blog, but being outdoors in the silence of nature in MY GodDen often inspires me to write. So, yes, I may share random posts such as these inspired by my surroundings. But I just wanted to say, I’m leaving my previous post up, and had something to post a couple of days after that one, but…it’s funny how things just don’t go as planned when what you are doing is more forced than compelling.

At any rate. I’m planting. I will be posting more often, but I just had to get that off of my chest. 

Peace.

The Best Inspiration Is A Goal (Roll Tide Roll!!)

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During football season, I am always inspired by the tenacity of the players. The will they have in them to not be satisfied, but continue winning. This attitude is exemplified by my beloved Crimson Tide.

The focus of two 60 Minutes pieces last week, (see one below)

and amidst constant rumors of Coach Saban leaving for Texas, these guys came out and put the process on prime display and gave LSU all they could handle Saturday night Nov. 9, willing themselves to a 21 point win over the Bayou Bengals. And, though I’ve posted a couple of times about the focus Nick Saban implants in his teams, this particular win brings me around to what am I doing to make my dreams come true. At the beginning of the year, I set a goal to leverage enough passive income on the internet to buy a ticket to see this team play for Sweet 16 in Pasedena. And what steps have I taken to reach this goal? ZERO. Well aside from posting on this blog and watching videos and…dreaming. Other than that I’ve done nothing tangible. I have allowed things to deter me though. Like giving in to the demands for sex from my spouse when I wanted to be working towards this during that time and ending up pregnant. Used a few excuses too, no money, no car to access the internet. All it has left me with is regret that I’m not going to get to go if they win out. Which it looks like they have a good chance of doing. And why? Because I haven’t been inspired enough by my own goals to impose the will of excellence on myself.

Funny, the things a “good game” can make you realize. So, today I’ve decided no more. No more fear, no more excuses, just try. I have plenty of resources. Push through the fear which has been my adversity, making all my reasons for not doing so easy, and do it. Take a chance. Hey I could win, 38-17. Making this old life the underdog it was always expected to be.

So I’m going to be revamping this blog, turning it into a dot com, taking advantage of some groups and some coaching programs and see. At least see, if all I want out of life, especially monetarily can really be. And if you’re reading this and ever wondered the same thing, I want you to look at this as me testing the waters for us. And if you decide to join me on this journey please do, but if you don’t, I’m out to prove to myself that I can make my ideal life come true, and stop regretting the things I don’t do for lack of setting a process to reach my goals, being inspired by it to give it my all, and not achieving. With the same fever of the Crimson Tide team, I’m going to chase and live my dreams. And if you choose not to join me, or just to wait and see, then hopefully I’ll see you on the other side of financial freedom and can provide you with some inspiration via my success.

Well That’s What Procrastination Will Get You!

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As I sit here and fret about how I could’ve saved $3 on my baby wrap project, I am reminded how I always put myself in this position. Waiting, waiting, waiting, procrastinating until the opportunity I had in the palm of my hands passes me by.

Oh sure, it took me no time to pick out the car that I’ve been waiting on for seven weeks because I didn’t want to be car-less (what’s the irony in that, ha), but when it comes to making money decisions, minor or major, that require me to spend my little money, I drag it out, and often miss out because I didn’t take heed to the sign to go ahead and ACT NOW! And, while that extra half yard of fabric might do me some good, as it may allow some experimentation on something else like a matching hat (my point being it won’t go to waste), it’s made me wonder if that same attitude leaks over into my ability to make money as well.

I have mentioned continuously on this blog, or at least over the past seven weeks (let’s say it together…) I’ve been waiting on a car and, perhaps going slightly stir crazy. I’ve said it so much I can’t recall if I’ve mentioned the opportunity it’s given me to a) even become crafty and attempt to make baby stuff, order fabrics, etc., and b) given me the opportunity to delve into this book I was introduced to by my girl Stephanie D., The Marketing Maven via her Marketing Maven show on iTunes. A few weeks back she interviewed Kate Northrup about her new book Money: A Love Story, and boy has reading it been the biggest blessing to my being stuck at home. Mainly because, unlike when I read many other financial or self-help books, I am actually doing the work. And really was encouraged to do it by Kate herself a midst her admittance that, just like me, a lot of times we think that is such a small part, and that we’ve got it all together and don’t need “that much” help, when really we end up neglecting the biggest step to helping ourselves.

Doing the work has always been an issue for me, though I don’t like to admit it, which is why I was comforted in knowing that I’m not alone. And when I say doing the work, I don’t mean studiously, or anything like that, I mean actually taking the ACTION steps that will help me increase myself, mostly financially. For some reason spiritually that’s not been the same problem. Which is why, I assume this book has been such an encouragement to me, because it is connecting my spirituality to my money. Another part of that though, is acting upon things as they arise intuitively. See for the last four years, since I lost my stability, in the form of being fired from my job, having kids, all the things that shake up our lives, I’ve felt like I’ve lost control. This car situation too, has allowed me to view, from another perspective, how I’ve given up a lot of my control as well. I’ve had to become a dependent of sorts on other people, from my children’s father to my parents because I just don’t have the finances. And the one thing that has been eating me for the past four years to at least try is Internet Marketing. But, in steps that lack of ACTION thing again.

What I really tend to do is over think things so much that I talk myself out of trying them. And then the other day I ran across some information that said that what this really is is talking ourselves out of our own freedom. And so, perhaps that was the blessing in losing my stability, all this time I’ve neglected to see, its been to make me free because I won’t take ACTION. So, as I fret over those $3, I’ve finally decided to follow this desire that keeps eating away at me daily, joining this Internet Marketing group called Wealthy Affiliate. Am I afraid to spend this $19 for the first 30 days? HELL YES!! Mainly because I know my own track record and secondly because the only internet access I have is via my telephone. Especially since I really can’t sit in the library with two loud active toddlers, and don’t have a vehicle to drive to my parents house to “borrow” theirs. Could it be a dumb decision and I end up regretting it? HELL YEAH. But over the past four years wondering if I could be holding the key to being free, spiritually and financially and just avoiding it has been eating me up so much that I’m at the point where I’m about to bust. So guess what, I’m finally desperate enough to want some say so in my life, to feel like I’m raising my children and interacting with them the way I want to, that I’m willing to do what might even seem stupid to at least try.

I’ll invite you to join me on this journey countless times, starting with today. And hey, if it takes you four years just like it’s taken me, to at least try it for free, at least you’ll know you’re not alone. But me, I’m ready to build my own feeling of home and TAKE ACTION to do it. You want to join me? Follow this link http://goo.gl/DY9q6 and find me, or take your own free tour around. Me though, I’m making myself bound to taking action to make money, and you can follow me on this journey just by reading my entries if you’d like. I’ll let you know though, if you are anywhere near as tired as me of having to wait on people (for things like a car) or answer to people for wanting to be who you are, then this is a great way to get a sense of control of yourself.

It’s Friday and I’m Ready to…Be Grateful

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Well it’s Friday, and for me the end of another week without a vehicle. It has been promised to me by Monday, but we’ll see (fingers crossed). After a week of stressing about it, today I’be decided to reflect about what being without has given me and be grateful. 

For starters it made me realize how inactive the boys and I are when it comes to having daily activities planned for them. Missing the car initially was upsetting because I had to depend on others to take us on our grocery errands and, largely because we’ve been unable to take their dad to and pick him up from work, and he’s had to take a cab or walk. Even though he often complained about putting gas in the car which has been part of th reason we sit home most of the day. Honestly. But going stir crazy made me realize just how crazy it is to not be more considerate of my children. I mean there was a time when I was working from home but still making the effort to build a stronf desire in them for reading by taking them to programs at the library. And so I’m grateful that I’ve been able to acknowledge that and have it bring back the desire for us to do those things again.

One of the biggest reasons I’ve become grateful for sitting still is that it’s allowed me to really reflect on my relationship with money. I know I’ve mentioned continuously my desire to be financially free, but it’s finally led me to take some steps to do some things, starting with ordering a book by Kate Northup titled Money: A Love Story and to commit myself to being an active reader of the information. I’ve realized how important it was for me before I had kids to be putting forth all efforts to be as independent as possible. I enjoyed living within my means and buying things with cash and sittong still has made me realize that if I was strong enough, determined enough to do it before, there is nothing that should be detering me from doinh it again. Not even my children. There’a something that feels good about being responsible and not dependent on anyone for things like the aforementioned gas and having their finances or willingness to give determine how active I can be with my children, be it lessons that I want to do with them at home, of being able to take them to the zoo or science center often.

Lastly it has really allowed me to wrap my head around the new baby, to the point where it’s rekindled my craftiness. I’ve been studying making slings, matching bed sheets, all types of things that will keep me busy when he finally gets here and I’m stuck at home again. 

I’ve realized that focusing on these things make me happy and, guess what? I even enjoy blogging consisietently. Afterall I did get my degree on Journalism and Creative Writing, so sharing the written wordn is so natural for me. And I’m grateful to have realized these things and mostly grateful that it all means a commitment to me being better for me. The person who, for the last four years has been at the bottom of my list. 

I bid you much bliss for your weekend, until we greet again. Oh and thank YOU for reading.

 

Yeeaah Its Monday! Wait, Why Am I So Excited?

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I don’t recall ever looking forward to Monday. EVER. Lately though, I get excited about it’s approach. Its not like I have huge plans on Mondays. I mean I look forward to all of my commentary on my favorite sports shows of the college football games from the previous weekend, but other than that, there’s not really much to be excited about. Especially lately, since, like I’ve stated previously, I’ve been without a car for the past five weeks, which means no midday rides if needed. Really it means no going anywhere at all. So why am I so amped, pumped about Monday?

Perhaps it’s because while other people are dreading heading to work and such, I am busy creating my days. Visualizing the way I want to live, how I see life and Monday on some strange scale represents my freedom to do that. The fact that I’m not rushing up and in the shower, though I do have two toddlers to tend to, so it’s not like I’m sleeping all day. Maybe its that they haven’t gotten in school like I’d hoped, but it doesn’t stop them from learning, doesn’t halt my desire to teach them. Hmmmm, what’s it become about Monday? I just can’t figure this one.

A month ago I was crying about not being able to get a job, rush my kids to school and go earn a little check with an early Monday morning start to my week. As I began to ponder the shift in my energy, it took me back to my vision board. I did one based on all the information that had begun flowing my way from listening to Wayne Dyer and Louise Hay everyday. And, as I don’t have it with me, I’m still able to see clearly the visuals I posted, the declarations of the destiny I desire to create and all of a sudden it links to my Monday feeling.

While I haven’t created the income stream I’m dreaming of just yet, I feel it getting closer. On the other hand the things that are coming to fruition are doing so because I’ve been able to sit still, finally seeing the gratitude in not having any wheels. Because I know that when I do get them, I’ll be able to be my children’s best teacher, just as I declared on my board at a discount price or for free, if we visit the library like the schedule I’ve had time to plan over the last few weeks. Its like now when I see Monday upon me, I see all the new possibilities being presented in my life. And I say bring it on, bring it on many, many more Mondays.

How Ya Like THAT For A Win?

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So, I’ve been without a vehicle for the past five weeks, having been in an accident back in July that totaled out my car. While I have a car coming from auction, it seems like it’s taking forever to get here, as some work had to be done on it before it’s to be delivered. In the meantime, my 2 and 3 year olds, along with a very pregnant me have been stuck in the house going stir crazy.

Before I was as big as I am, we could walk to the park for them to play as we live in very close proximity. But, as luck would have it, for them anyway, walking around the neighborhood has been a difficult activity for us to partake in as we live in a very hilly area. Like we live on a hill both front street and the alley we back up to and then hills galore from there. If you’ve ever visited Birmingham, AL you know exactly what I mean.

With the kids out of the house visiting MiMi for a couple of days, I decided that I’d had enough of going stir crazy all by myself. Needing dishwashing liquid for both finishing the dishes and fulfilling my craving, (I suffer from Pica during my pregnancies because of low iron which causes me to crave some strange substances, mostly cleaning products, soaps, laundry detergent, etc. Of course I don’t eat them but I do enjoy the smell of them so I clean and wash quite often, but that’s another story.) I decided forget it, I’m by myself, I’ll go ahead and walk to the store.

When I started down the hill, the initial pull of gravity made me think perhaps I made a not so smart decision. But, as I reached level ground I began to feel a sense of empowerment, no longer trapped by my condition. And the fresh fall breeze made me ponder what else I could do that I’ve been reasoning myself not to. Like create a stream if income for myself since that was such a big part of my disappointment in my being pregnant in the first place. That I wouldn’t be able to get a job and make money.

And I began thinking about the recent Alabama football game against Ole Miss. How many commentators had already counted them out of the game declaring that Alabama’a team just didn’t look the same as it has in the previous two years when they’ve won national championships. But that Saturday they came out and dominated against an Ole Miss offense that was supposed to give them great trouble. And it made me curious about the process, as it is known by those who follow the coaching style of Nick Saban. One where he always speaks of enjoying the journey to always being better, competing with the doubts that can arise within yourself, overtaking them and persevering to reach a success you knew you could obtain if you just overcame whatever you may see as a road block.

So I searched out something, anything that showed him speaking on this and found a video that I want to share. It has encouraged me as the next step in my own science to get rich. To step beyond any limitations I’ve put on myself, to be creative and invest in seeing the outcome that I want financially.

Now I know there are a lot of people who don’t really care for Coach Saban. Heck, when I was a student at The University of Alabama we were often on the other side of his domination when he coached at LSU. But watching him take our program from what it was when I was there to where it is now, I haven’t been able to do anything but garner much respect for the man. So please, if you are a college football fan, allow yourself to really take in the message outside of that part of your person.

Until sooner rather than later, peace, love and blessings.

So I Took A Hiatus…Again

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So I’ve been away for a while for a couple of reasons. Mainly because this MisFunktional Mami has been trying to wrap her head around having another baby. That makes three under the age of four, and boy I tell you wrapping my head around that idea, already being overwhelmed as I am, sent me right back into a depressive state to the point where it just stopped me from speaking about coming into positivity. But now, after some inspiration from a few internet media moguls, I am ready to share my truth. My journey along the way. What has brought me to this point.

After six months I finally admitted not just to my family, but to myself, that yes, I am pregnant. And to be honest I really wanted to terminate the pregnancy initially. I know there are views on this and that statement could insite a riot, at least within, but when you’re feeling on the brink of broken, some options seems like the only way out. But now here I am, six months in,  finally accepting…the baby.

My turmoil with my pregnancy had more to do with felling like I was just getting my life back on track than anything. I was finally ready to go back to work, and let my toddlers go to school. Finally healing from the changes that motherhood had brought to my idea of what my life would be as an adult, and accepting that. I’d just read in Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life book that sometimes things happen to you more than once because of some deep rooted beliefs and ideals that you have. I’d been on birth control pills, which are hard to keep up with when keeping up with toddlers, and had considered the vaginal inserts, though I was unable to have them because of my C-sections, but was very against the patch, something that would be easier for me, because of exactly what she said, some deeply rooted belief about it. I’d finally decided though, that this would be the best option for me as I knew I just was not ready to have any more children.

As I waited for my next cycle, I was excited about this realization and about the new journey awaiting me on the other side of this decision. The new job, the “break” from being a mom all day long. So, this was the source of my discontentment when I learned that I was pregnant. Once I accepted it, however, albeit six months in, its like this journey actually started all over again. I began to once again feel like I could make forward progress towards at least some dreams in my life and, perhaps be my own inspiration that, even though the idea of something may seem difficult, it may end up being a testament to faith and endurance. The strength I didn’t know I possessed as a mother, a woman. I mean, even though I was ready to go back to work, my dreams of being an internet entrepreneur and real estate mogul weren’t going anywhere. And that is when, out of the blue, I was convinced to read a book…The Science of Getting Rich.

While the book focuses a lot on the mindset you need to become wealthy, it also helped me realize how I’d lost my own faith, my own trust in not just a universal power, but in MY word and the power within myself. For the past few years I’d been in such despair because of the transitions in my life, that I’d been depending on the word of others to get me out of situations, or help me along, make my road easier, instead of creating a new journey, a new road to my dreams and desires. So here I am, back, promising to be consistent because I am excited. Wanting to share my new positive outlook on something that at first seemed like such a set back. So, I’d like to share the audio of the book The Science of Getting Rich with you. I listened to this just as it instructed, as often as possible, as much as possible and it inspired me in a way I’m not sure I have words for. I hope it does the same for you.

Until my next post…sooner rather than later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vM1wkzRl5ZA